Thursday, November 17, 2011

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive.

Honestly, I miss my iPod very much 'cause it's my boredom killer whenever I ride the train but I guess I've been too tired of everything to notice. College became hard so suddenly. Mounds of homework are given every day. And every single day is so... I dunno. Tiring. It's like I never have enough energy to socialize. Every boring day's the same. And I honestly want everything to be over. Like fast forward to Med school please. Nothing's exactly wrong but nothing's right either. I suddenly have bouts of low self-esteem then I become overly sensitive and excessively critical towards myself then I overly think then I just become depressed as hell and socially awkward. Then I suddenly don't want to go to school or talk to anyone. Then I feel lonely. And I try to make myself believe that I'm okay with the past and I'm ready to move on and I'm happy about what I have right now but everything shitty I've done suddenly comes back to me then I just feel more depressed. I couldn't forgive myself and I don't know when all this started but I feel like I'm living an empty life. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but I just feel like I'm wasting it.

I wish I snap out of this shit soon.

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